Blatherings on Family

Just wrote these rather incoherent thoughts regarding family to a great series of questions posited by a friend. Thought I should put this on public display so ya'll can let me know if I've lost what's left of my mind...

"Overall I must say that this decision about children for me was one step in a long process of changing my entire paradigm about family. It’s difficult for people with a Western mindset to ever understand a passage like Psalm 127. It fits perfectly within a Semitic world-view. I believe our whole concept of family is way out of line and these questions we have (April and I included) about family planning are really symptoms of a much larger issue – an unbiblical view of family (it goes way beyond whether or not you think of kids as a blessing).

We’re a long way from a family like Abraham and Sarah that had over 1000 people in their household, multiple businesses, and lived everyday for the promise of many blessed descendants.

We still live in a world where powerful families rule (think of the last 100 year in America – Roosevelt's, Kennedy's, Bush's etc…) but are taught to think micro thoughts about family. Family is an extremely culturally conditioned concept and it’s nearly impossible to reshape ones view but we’re trying…

One example – You asked if there are some people built to have large families and other who are not. The western answer is obvious…yes. If you have lots of energy and get lots of fulfillment out of kids have lots and if not then limit the number. The Semitic answer is not to consider your energy level or fulfillment level but to consider your family resources. Everyone (in the Semitic world) wants to have as many kids as possible but the number is only limited to the number of passive resources you can leverage to care for your large family. Because these families almost always build family businesses children are ultimately an asset not a liability. There is no greater calling than a calling to serve your family (family=extended as well as future).

April and I have researched the beginning of influential families that have multi-generational impact and without exception they begin by launching family businesses (the above three examples of American families are all cases in point). Having multiple streams of passive income changes the way you think in almost everyway. I think we talked about this at your house a while back but I keep harping on it because I think it’s usually the first step to this new way of thinking.

The next thing you need in order to change your paradigm at a really deep level is you have to change your basic narrative (your story of what the good life is all about). Having a narrative like – grow-up, go to college, get a good job, get married, get more college, get a better job, raise a good family, retire…is totally different from a Semitic narrative about life where you see your life as one in a stream and if you decide to be the Abraham and Sarah of your lineage then you will see yourself and your life as a foundation stone for generations to come instead of seeing your life as a complete cycle with beginning middle and end.

Virtually all ancient cultures – Korean, Italian, Jews, Greeks, Chinese etc… share this basic view of family. Americans are part of a new, very shallow, self-centered culture that is basically incapable of thinking this way. You can find hundreds of common threads in these ancient cultures but in cultures steeped in Enlightenment thinking (which includes most of Western Europe and their American descendants) you’ll find arising our modern short-sighted, me-centered, one or at the most two generational approach to family."

OK...I'd love your feedback on this.

What do you think of the American view of family?
What do you think we've lost that these ancient cultures can teach us?
Is there any hope that we can regain what we've lost?
Is this just a matter of preference and culture or is their a single, superior way to view the family?